5 Weeks Pregnant

I really can't believe I'm here. I've been dreaming of this since June last year and now I'm here I almost feel like I don't know what to do!

For me, the best way of accepting something is to write about it, so today marks the beginning of my blogging pregnancy diary. My aim is not to bore my readers with incessant writing about simply being pregnant, so I'll keep it to once a week. For the other 6 days I'll try to entertain with my usual quips and observations, but with the obvious lack of alcohol, so I expect I'll have to be a little more creative than usual!

Now this makes me sound extremely vain, but at the moment I'm really concerned about putting on too much weight in pregnancy. With my son I started at 9 stone 7 lbs and peaked at just over 12 stone before I gave birth. I felt huge and it took me at least six months to actually feel comfortable in my own skin again. For that reason, I'm going to document my weekly "growth" in my blog, with the intent that If I have to show myself to the world, I may think again about that third slice of toast (she says, having just eaten her third slice of toast... with butter.. and jam!)

So, this is me. 5 Weeks pregnant

At 5 weeks, my "embryo", according to Baby Centre is enjoying her first growth spirt. She (I don't know why they always refer to it as "she", but I'll go with it!) still resembles a tadpole, but is already sprouting buds that will eventually become arms and legs. She already has her vital organs, including heart, kidneys and liver and they are in place and growing. Hard to believe really; she's only been in existence for 3 weeks and all that has already happened.

I'm not feeling much yet, just tired and hungry. I never know if the pregnancy is the reason for the hunger though, problem is that it's such a good excuse! Oh, and apart from the amazing sense of smell, the biggest thing I've noticed is the crazy dreams. Not all nice either. Last night I had two that I can remember. The first was about trying to get my 2 1/2 year old to breastfeed again!! I stopped when he was 10 months. The second was that I lost the baby. It was horrible and the worst thing about it was that I thought it was real when I woke up, it was so vivid.

The first 12 weeks are so hard. You get so excited, but there's always something to hold you back. The fear of miscarriage, the fear of something being wrong and almost worst of all, my constant fear that when I arrive for my 12 week scan there simply won't be anything there... it happens.

So, that's me at 5 weeks. It wasn't supposed to be a downer, I really am so excited. But the next 7 weeks can't go fast enough.